it's not you, it's me.

Weighing my options for this month and making resolutions and goals for 2011. When I was a kid (or a tween, technically) and it was 2000, my dad bought me those sunglasses made for the new year with the O's for eyeholes. A great gimmick, I thought then and now, until I saw ones for 2011 on the street the other day. Alec & I both remarked on how stupid this gimmick has become, one that needs to retire.

And with that in mind....just kidding. I haven't quit making pictures or being an artist just because I didn't get a residency post or haven't had any place to produce tangible photographs(which is kind of my fault anyway). I guess I could say that it's just taken a backseat and with two jobs and moving for the 3rd time in a year, I get home at the end of the day sometimes and just sigh. I wish I had the capability to just pull out some paper and start drawing about all the things in my head, get it all out, get over it. I was never this stressed out about small things when I was at SVA and able to produce work on a daily basis. I thought I could replace photo with baking or biking or other peon little hobbies but I don't like eating too many sweets and it's really tedious to have to wake up at 5 am to bike to work. I thought that with the residency all of these problems would be solved and I could get back into that flow, but instead of being sad about this I just think, Fuck. Now what? I know I will work it out soon and things will be good.

Anyway, in case anyone still reads this I just wanted to say that I really really wish I had things to post on a weekly, daily basis and have comments and viewers and make work for me and anyone else interested. Soon I'm sure.

fan mail

Dear CCNY 2011 Residency Program applicant,

Thank you for your submission to the Darkroom Residency Program at the Camera Club of New York. We received 180 submissions, and a lot of very strong and compelling work. The jury, which included Petrushka Bazin (artist and curator at Laudromat Project), Isaac Diggs (photographer and professor at SVA) and Joelle Jensen (photographer, independent curator and CCNY Board member), was very impressed by the quality of the submissions, and the final choice was very competitive.We are sorry to say, however, that you were not selected for a residency this year.

The photographers who were selected for 2011 are Emile Dubuisson, Cara Phillips, Motohiro Takeda, and Rona Yefman. We will soon have their biographies and examples of their work on our website, www.cameraclubny.org

The jury changes every year, and we hope that you will consider applying for the program again next year. Also, we will keep you on CCNY’s email list for future announcements.

Sincerely,

Saul Robbins, Allen Frame, co-chairs of the Darkroom Residency Program

John Stanley, CCNY Director

The CCNY Darkroom Residency Program is supported, in part, by Fujifilm; Kodak; public funds from the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs, in partnership with the City Council; the New York State Council on the Arts and the New York State Artist Workspace Consortium.